Helping Your Child Understand Their Virtual Classroom

These days, many parents are asking how they can work without interruption while their child is doing virtual learning at home. With young children (K-2) this can feel daunting. You may be concerned that your children will need your support not only in completing their work, but in learning HOW their virtual classroom works. They will! They will need your help learning how to participate in their virtual classroom. A proactive way to promote independence is to spend time upfront supporting your child in their virtual classroom. This means sitting with them until you feel they can participate 90% of the time independently. Then you will be able to focus on your work with less stress and fewer interruptions.

Spoiler alert: There are no easy hacks, but starting the year off with this teacher trick of the trade may help you and your child have a more independent, productive and less stressful year.

As teachers, we know that teaching routines and procedures are the key to having a class that runs smoothly throughout the year. From day one we teach students how the classroom "works", so they can be independent and focused on their learning rather than worrying about how to do all the things school requires.

Some of these procedures include how to line up, how to use the bathrooms, and how the cafeteria works. We support them in these tasks until we know they understand how to participate safely and effectively with minimum adult help. We even give up our own lunchtime the first two weeks of school so that we can ensure they know how to get lunch, eat safely and clean up. Don't we have other things to do?? Absolutely - a LOT of other things. However, we know that focusing on teaching routines at the beginning of the year goes a long way towards having happy, confident, and INDEPENDENT students.

In the same vein, you or another adult may want to sit with your kids consistently at the computer for the first week (ouch) of distance learning and then frequently thereafter until your child is showing a complete understanding of the routines and procedures of their virtual classroom. For younger children this will most likely take more time. The skills they will be learning may include: learning how to mute their mics, turn their cameras on and off, raise their hand electronically, and ask and answer questions. We teachers will be teaching and practicing these details with them, but with your support the mastering of these new tasks may take less time, which will give you more time to work. Without interruption. It's also helpful for you to see how your child's teacher will be running class, what their expectations are, and how the children will be showing what they know, so if your child does struggle, you will understand how to help them.

As the first week moves along, you will want to gradually release them....which is also what we do in school. We continue to support them until we see they are beginning to understand what to do. As we begin to see them acting independently in basic tasks, we gradually remove them from adult supervision. The goal for you would be to sit with your child for the first 3-5 days at a minimum. The younger they are, the more time it may take for them to master virtual procedures. Once they begin to show mastery of participating in class, you can spend less time with them each day. You don't want them to rely on you to do everything for them. That may end up creating more reliance on you, which means less time for you to do your job. Gradual release = independent children. I've never believed in the throw them in the water method of anything (not that there's anything wrong with that), but I happily stood in the water with my children until they were able to swim safely on their own. Once I sensed that they could handle that distance, I began to stand back further and further each day, until one day I realized I could sit in a chair, read a book, have a snack, and not worry about them drowning.

Another way to support your child's independence during virtual class time is to make sure they understand how the device they are using works. This may sound simple, but it caused some significant issues with some of my kids in the spring. Some children may be use to using tablets and phones instead of laptops, so if the platform for your district works better on a laptop (many of my students had issues participating with phones and tablets) you will want to help your child adjust to this new type of technology (the two main issues were them finding where things are on the keyboard, how to use a mouse or touch pad, and connectivity, mostly on the iPad or tablet). If you are unsure of how any of the technology works, ask. the. teacher. ask. the. teacher. ask. the. teacher. No question is too small or too big. If your teacher doesn't know the answer, they will find someone who does. All teachers want our students to be able to fully participate so all children can learn as effectively as possible in the virtual classroom. The only way your teacher will know you or your child needs help is if you ask them!

You will no doubt receive information electronically about how the virtual classroom will work, but again, sitting with your child during their first week of virtual learning can ensure that both of you understand the procedures and expectations for distance learning. Because this will probably be a lot of new information for you and your child, you may want to take notes on the basic functions of the virtual classroom and tape it up next to your child's workspace for easy access. This can make it easier for you to help your child quickly when the have an urgent question about how to participate, and you need to get on a zoom call for your job.

Think about it: When you start a new job, you often have a mentor who will sit with you, answer your questions, help you understand how things run in the office. and what the expectations are for your job. Once you understand the basics, you can perform your job independently. If you are anything like me, you would probably have sticky notes or notes on your phone for a quick reference guide to help you remember the important procedures. That way you can be more productive and effective in your new job without having to ask or go through pages of online manuals.

Sitting with your child at the beginning of the school year may be one of the most helpful things you can do to ensure your child can work independently. Setting your child up for success is not only important so they can do their work, but so you can do your work without your kid knocking over your coffee. Sitting with your child at the computer may put you a bit behind in your work at first. It may seem unrealistic. It may seem that making the time for this is hard work. However, it will set up your child for success and independent learning for the rest of the year. It is worth setting aside time at the beginning to give your child the tools needed to have a successful year.

Parenting and Teaching Young Children in the Fall

As we begin the 2020 -'21 school year, parents are going to be faced with the challenge of once again supporting their children's education while working.

As schools shut down in the spring, we began to realize the difficulties parents were facing

as they tried to become their child's teacher. This will be the same reality in the fall as we continue to use distance learning. Here are some ideas that can support and ease

the stress of virtual learning for BOTH you and your child.

1. Set up a work space specifically for learning. Have your child help you find that space. Fanciness not required! If your child has a space that they understand is for just schoolwork, they are less likely to get distracted. Although the kitchen table is the hub of the household, and probably the easiest place to help your child, the space is used in many different ways which can be distracting.

Think about it: When you have work that requires focus to complete, where would you put your space in your house? Would you like someone to do it for you or would you prefer to

do it yourself?

2. Have your child help you organize their supplies. They will need your guidance, but the ultimate goal is for them to feel a sense of ownership over their space.

Think about it: If you went to work and your space was set up for you, would you know where things were? You would probably want to reorganize your things in a way that works for you.This is the same for your child's work space.

3. Be kind to yourself. We teachers have years of schooling and experience learning how to teach. You are most likely winging it, along with working, and managing your other kids schedules. Maybe you are a "stay at home mom"... you have the huge responsibility of managing your children's virtual school schedules, and everything else you do to take care of your home and family. This can be difficult for anyone.

Think about it: Your children will be aware of how you handle difficult situations. They can internalize that. It took me a long while before I could notice my body's signs of stress. If being aware of stress in the moment it's happening, is something you haven't practiced, this may take some time to learn. But trust me when I tell you it's worth it, for both you and your child.It's impossible not to be stressed out, but how you model handing stress can help your child when they feel stress. Take a break when you feel your body tense up.

Breath slowly in and out, go out and get some exercise or lock yourself in your room for 15 minutes. No joke. Once you've taken care of you, then you will be able to say, "This is hard! But we can do hard things!" and actually mean it. You've also modeled it. My other favorite saying is, "It's not a problem, it's a challenge!" Positive self-talk is a gift for our children.

4. Give your children learning breaks! In kindergarten, we take a break about every 15 minutes from August through October. Stories, snacks, dance, outdoor time, kids yoga and stretching are GREAT learning breaks for kidsl Expect your child to attend to a difficult task for approximately 1 minute per year of age (5 years old, 5 minutes of direct instruction or task}. As the year goes on, their stamina will improve.

Think about it: Sustaining any task takes focus and built in stamina. When learning something new, how long can you go before you need a five minute break? Does it

match your age? A five year old is not considered ADHD if it's hard for them to sit for

more than 5 minutes. That's normal five year old behavior.

5. Communicate with your child's teacher. Communicate with your child's teacher.

Communicate with your child's teacher. As a teacher I often hear, "I don't want to be THAT parent." BE. THAT. PARENT. You are your child's greatest advocate. We try to communicate with families as consistently as we can, but sometimes we miss a beat, so don't hesitate to contact your child's teacher if something seems off, or you are not sure how to help your child with their learning. Also remember - the more we know about what is happening at home, the better we can respond to your child's needs. If we don't know, we can't help. We also like to hear the success you are seeing with your child!

Think about it: Children have difficulty seeing things from any perspective except their own.

This is normal. This is not lying. This is simply how they see the world. It's important to contact your child's teacher with any questions about content or context. Your child will always tell you their perception, which may be right. However, it's always important to hear their teachers’s perspective on the matter, so you can see the bigger picture.

Wishing you the BEST of luck on your journey. More posts to come on how to help your child during distance learning.

Get Under The Bed

When my daughter started sleeping in her big girl bed at the age of 3, something interesting happened. Every night, we would read a story, sing a song, kiss her... all the bedtime things, then tuck her in safe and sound, turn on her night light and leave her door open in case she got scared and needed us. In the morning we would wake up and go into her room to check on her. There she would be, under her bed, with her little sweaty head and pillow poking out just enough for us to see her. She would be under her bed, because under her bed, was her safe spot. She knew in that little brain, that when she got scared of the Grinch, monsters, or evil witches, or even just the dog down the street, she could crawl under her bed to feel safe. It wasn't a place she went to keep herself locked in, it was a place she went to keep all the bad things out.

The other day, one of my teacher friends said, "I don't think parents are happy with anything we are doing." I was immediately saddened by her comment, thinking to myself, "This was happening on social media when school was normal. I can't IMAGINE what we will see from parents and teachers as the new school plans are rolled out. There will be a lot of positive comments, but you need to hear 10 positive comments to overcome 1 negative comment. I'm not sure the ratio will work to our advantage.

Next, I begin to lose several hours I will never get back, and start chasing the rabbit and end up down the rabbit hole. A bad rabbit hole. I find that each piece of information that the county gives out ends up being blown apart by more questions (that may or may not make sense in the thread), and comments and accusations about what the county, its administrators and it's teachers should be doing. Often made by people who have never walking into a classroom.

I understand the worry, I understand the concern, I understand the urgency of the need for answers. I just have a hard time when people point their fingers at the county and say they aren't doing enough. These people are making these decisions that will impact THOUSANDS of families. I wouldn't want their job. Not in a MILLION years.

In Fairfax county, where I work - the first month of virtual teaching in the spring was like a hurricane for teachers, families and administrators who were all doing the best they could to turn one of the biggest counties in the country into a completely virtual learning environment. Despite the massive effort we were criticized on social media for not doing enough.

Fast forward to now. Despite the new knowledge of how Corona virus is passed and the fact that we have higher numbers of positive cases and deaths than we did when schools closed in the spring, we are trying to open up our school system in August. With every answer there are new questions we cannot answer, and accusations about the fact that we cannot answer them. Why can't we answer them? BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS!!! Watching a county town hall meeting is very much like watching a political debate. Lots of questions asked, but no real answers to any of them. Why? Because this is so complex, and weaves into every part of our society, that in order to be able to have specific answers that will stick, we would have to have done this before. We would have to have done the test of a full year of school in a pandemic to have some kind of predictable outcome, and answers that we knew would hit the target.

To add to that, we have a Secretary of Education who is terrified to walk into a public school building because she knows how she would be received. When she took her post four years ago, one of her first comments to the media was that she couldn't find the "pencils" to write with. As you may suspect, she was completely unaware of the vast number of school supplies we teachers have to provide to our students using our own money. Last week she stated that schools need to open full time then pointed her finger at Fairfax County and criticized our hybrid plan.

Is she unaware that teachers are human beings who have families they have to care for, their own health issues, and their own children they have to help with school? These are the things that would keep employees of any other profession at home, and would keep them from going in to the classroom (with of course the exception of medical professionals and other public servants such as fireman and policemen. ) Does she recognize that our public school system that serves our families will now have a greater chance of exposing other children and more families to Covid? I'm curious as to how the death rates for children and adults will spike when school begins. Then who will be pointing fingers at whom?

So the school year will begin with immense pressure from the government and the community, which unfortunately means the train is rolling and the only thing that will stop it a brick wall. Our superintendent and school board must make the most difficult decisions of this decade. They are there doing the best they can with the few answers they have. Often,people are unhappy with the answers because they sound something like this: No, we cannot make accommodations for all teachers, students and their families. No, we may not be able to offer AAP or AP classes the way we normally would. Once you have chosen virtual or in school learning, yes you must stick with it. The pandemic has taken away our ability to be able to grant each families individual child's need. It's hard enough to know what SPED and ESOL will look like this year.

This is what happens - I start thinking about what I've seen and read on social media and combine that with my own fear and anxiety and I get pissed, and scared and I suddenly want to hide under the bed like my daughter when she was three... like the whole way though. I'm not even gonna pop out my sweaty head.

I'm not sure that social media pages and posts are a way for teachers and administrators to stay centered as we wait to find out what will happen, and focus on the looming task at hand. That being said, I'm trying to get my information directly from the county or my administration. I'm going to my friends and family who know and understand me, to vent, worry or talk through what's happening. I can honestly say, I don't watch the news for my news. Nor do I watch Facebook or Instagram to inform me of my news. That's because, from the second I log on till the second I log off, every muscle in body body is tense. My stomach hurts, my jaw clenches, and not ONLY do I want to hide under the bed, but I want to take the entire gallon of ice cream in my fridge with me.

I obsess over all things Hamilton, I read, I write, I play my guitar, I am present with my daughter who is now preparing to leave for college. I listen to NPR, and that's about all I can handle. I am focused on doing things that nurture my soul and help me process everything that is happening in a more positive way. They help me to be fully present instead of focusing on being fear driven. I don't want to look back on these last three weeks with my daughter and have regrets because all I could think about was the shit show that would be August. Is it easy? God no - taking care of myself is the hardest thing, but it's my form of lying under my bed, and happily inspecting all the cool things that I left under it. That's where I feel safe. I can watch everything from a distance. From a safe space.away from the social media monsters, I can find important information that won't take me away from the beauty that is happening now, I'm not caging myself in, I'm just keeping the bad stuff out. I am taking control over the monsters that surround me. I am trying not to live my life in fear, but in joy, from a place I know is safe. I know that we will all be able to come out from under the bed eventually, just like Katie.