A Guide on the Bumpy Path of Learning to Read

Is my child behind in reading? Why is my child looking at the pictures and making up the words instead of reading what's on the page? GAH! I have NO idea how to do this! Sound familiar? Or not? Either way, here are some sweet secrets to helping your child learn to read.

The first thing you should know is that learning to read now looks NOTHING like it did when you were in elementary school. I would bet, that you didn't learn to read in Kindergarten. I'll bet, that you weren't expected to read like a seven year old when you were five. All the confusion and anxiety around whether or not your child is up to speed in reading is often driven by how hard or easy it was for you to learn how to read and the difference between how we teach reading now and how it was taught back then. I mean, it was all phonics right?

With all the reading baggage in your brain and knowing Melinda's child is reading above grade level (um, yeah, right) you will suddenly become quite concerned that you have ruined your child's ability to read job applications. Suddenly, you and your child's "nice quiet story before bed" becomes a knock down, drag out argument. Suddenly your child turns into a monster. Suddenly, YOU turn into a monster. In a sad twist of fate, your child WANTS to stop reading and go to sleep (which you know is a lie because what child EVER wants to go to sleep before their parents. 'cause, what if mom and dad bring out the ponies????). You leave the room dazed, confused and certain you want a glass of wine faster than you can pour it.

Let me be clear before we begin. As a parent, YOU are NOT their reading teacher. Nor should you be. Your job is to be that snuggly person with whom reading is a calming and fun experience. The purpose of this post, is to give you the information about how children learn to read so that when your kid is making up words as they look at the pictures in a book, you can keep your cool instead of worrying that they are behind.

Rule #1: although there is a progression of reading skills, no child moves through this progression at the same time. If your child is moving from one stage to the next no matter how slow or fast, they are a ok.

Rule #2: if you have concerns about your child's reading progress ask the teacher. Ask your child's teacher. Ask the teacher. Teachers know your child. The latest books on "How to Teach Your Child to Read Like an Adult" don't know your child. Just ask the teacher. ASK THE TEACHER! And did I mention you should ask your child's teacher?

So here it is, a brief road map to how a child learns to read:

Pre-reading Skills:

They will:

Listen to a story in a book and watch how a book is held and cared for.

Look at pictures in books and make up a story to go with them.

Listen to a book over and over again and then repeat it verbatim, without actually reading the words.

Listening, looking and making sh-- up. That's how it's done.

Next you may see them reading letters and words:

They will:

Begin to recognize the letters in their name, their friends names, and their families names. These names are a GOLD MINE for kids learning to read.

Reading books with ONE line and a pattern on each page come next:

"I see the dishes. I see the chocolate. I see the wine."

And did I mention they are also learning that you read from left to right? Cause they think that is a bit sketchy and aren't even sure which way is "left"!

Finally, they read the pattern in the story, "I see the bear". As they try to figure out that tricky word, "bear" they will look back and forth at the first letter (b) and the picture (which most likely be a picture of a bear). and at that point, make their best guess at the mysterious word that begins with a "b". They will most likely then say the word "bear".

Hold up teacher (as you suddenly sit up and put your wine down) ! They GUESS? Guessing is NOT reading. Bear (no pun intended!) with me here....

Actually, it is reading. It teaches them something REALLY important: to use the first letter of a word and the sound it makes, as well as the picture to figure out that word. This is called making "meaning". Making sure the word they have chosen makes sense in the context of the sentence. Both pictures and the beginning sound of a word are keys to unlocking reading and understand what is happening in the book.

Sight Words

They begin to recognize small "sight words"; of, be, look, the, see etc. These are the words that are most frequently read and written in the English language. Also words that aren't always spelled they way they sound, "Haveeee". The word "the" is the most commonly seen word. On the heels of "the" are "of" and "be".

"I" and "a" are just confusing to a kid because how can a letter be a word, and, isn't an eye something on your face?

Stretching Out Words

Phonics are tricky as hell. When you are learning to read you have to be specifically taught to read words like "like"... because the letter "e" in "like", just sits on it's ass and eats popcorn without participating in the actual word. Then just like that, in the word "lean", "e" is a bossy pants who refuses to let the "a" talk so "a" can't tell on him ("e") for eating popcorn and not helping with "like". Damn vowels, so many sounds and so many freaking rules.

Had enough for today? Me too. My wi.. coffee is ready to be iced and I have to clean this disaster of a house. I'm confused as to how this house is a disaster. I live by myself, both young adults off at college. I guess it's probably because I spend too much time figuring out how to spell and read the word "thermometer". Maybe I should just look at the first letter and the picture and make my best guess...

Stay tuned for how and when children learn how to break apart words, rhyme, and all that phonics crap. Sounds scintillating I know, but my hope in this series of posts will keep you from getting a subscription for Total Wine, and make bedtime for you and your child the snuggliest time of day.

. Cheers!