And There They Go.....

All parents want their kids to be ready for the ocean of physical, social/emotional, and academic expectations that are an inevitable part of kindergarten, a 5-year-old's daily grind...

Over the next week I will be writing a series of posts to support your child's experience during this exciting time!

1. Teach your child how to manage frustration.

Mantras can be exceptionally helpful as kids experience many new challenges at once.

• Teach them one that is simple."I think I can" and "I can do hard things" are great to use.

• Model using it when they see you stuck on something hard. Trying to put together an IKEA dresser? Say the mantra you've taught them out loud as you decipher the picture directions that look nothing like what you've bought.

• Encourage them to use it when they are challenged. Remind them of it, get them started saying it with you, then let them continue on your own.

• Cheer them on when you see them using it on their own.

Let me show you what that looks like in action...

In my classroom, the kids LOVE to yell "WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!", our cheer after morning meeting. Eventually, they learn that this means something important and begin to say it on their own, or even to me when they see me struggle. For example, Alphie explains when he used it.

Me: So, in our book, we learned that it can take a LONG time to learn how to do something tricky. You have to keep trying though! Don't give up! You can say something to yourself to help, like, "I can do hard things!" Just say it over and over again until you figure out your problem.

This weekend I was trying to get my TV to work, and I couldn't figure out what chords went where, so I just focused and reminded myself over and over that I could do hard things. Eventually, I DID it, and those words really helped. (There is enthusiastic applause from my amazed students. Even teachers have hard things...

I want you to think for a minute about a time when you did something hard. Did you say, "I can do hard things" until you did it?

A dozen little hands popped up. They waved and waved and the kids said "me!me!me!"

I chose Alphie, who was a quiet listener who FINALLY had something to share. I was ELATED!

Me: Morning Alphie, can you share your hard thing with us?"

Alphie hesitated. The children waited with bated breath... what did he do? Ride a two-wheeler??? Lose a tooth? Eat broccoli????

Alphie: I took a poop.

Jaws dropped, giggles emerged, and a chorus of "ewwwww pooop", erupted.

Me: That's enough from the peanut gallery. Everybody poops. Can we listen kindly while Alphie tells us how he did this hard thing?

The kids got quiet and put their listening ears back on.

Alphie: I did, Ms. Devine! I had to go, real bad! Then when I tried, nothing came out!!!!

A few children looked astonished and said in agreement,"Hey, that happened to me too!"

Me: Let's let him finish, friends.

Alphie: I started to get frustrated, a-cause nothing was working! I tried the "push it, push it real good!", song, the "potty squirm" wiggle, and the "Hulk grunt," and nothing helped! I started to cry and remembered that I could do hard things! So I just went as hard as I could and said, "I can do hard things, I can do hard things!" and I did it!

The children begin to applaud Alfie's efforts. We were glad he didn't have to Hulk it to get the job done.

A mantra:

1. Teach it

2. Model using it

3. Encourage them to try

4. When you hear them, applaud their efforts.

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