Packages

"So folks poured their wide, juicy selves into those narrow, arbitrary glasses because that was what was expected. Many lived lives of quiet desperation, slowly suffocating as they held their breath to fit inside" - Glennon Doyle, Untamed

"To choose to live out the first few years of my profession as a "new teacher"ignores and silences all the parts of me that are not new to children, to cities, to youth culture, or to literacy."

"Labels cannot cover our whole humanity. Neither can those we apply to students - language learner, special education, gifted, girl, boy, poor, wealthy, minority or white." - Cornelius Minor, We Got This

The two stories above about "glasses" and "labels" have made me think HARD about how the things we tell ourselves and other teachers about students and staff we work with keeps us and them locked behind the starting gate and out of the race itself.

I bet you've had the playground conversations with other teachers that go something like this, "That kid is a hot mess. He can't sit still, on the carpet he looks everywhere except at me. He's just too young to be in kindergarten. He's a boy and boys really need the (air quotes) gift of time". Then comes the agreement and the eye-roll from the teacher who you share all of your kid woes with.

I believe in general, most would agree the statement above has been spoken many a time to a teacher by a teacher. Maybe this particular child DOES need more time, or maybe he/she just processes information through movement. If we've already decided they are too young for kindergarten, where does it leave them? In the same class, you could have a child who comes to kindergarten right after turning 6, and behaves like the almost 5 year old who can't sit down? What is THAT story and how is it different then his/her younger peer?

How many times have you wanted to stand up and walk around in the back of a staff meeting, because you were uncomfortable or your back hurt? Or bored. Maybe you showed up late, had to sit in the back and couldn't see what was going on? Maybe you had a really stressful morning at home and realized you forgot your computer half way to school. Does that make you a “hot mess” in general?

Daily life is unpredictable, so I'm wondering if we put the adults and children in our school into glasses and packages with labels on them because it gives us a predictable and familiar reference point - a way to define their behavior so we can go to the place of, "If this person does A and I do B, most likely C will happen." Predictable. Safe. Consistent.

One box we put children in may say "Boys" and inside that box is a little porceline figurine of a boy standing on a book and breaking a pencil. After all, we know boys don't like to read or write.

Or perhaps there's a box labeled"ESOL" and inside of that box is a little girl with her head down looking defeated and confused with her little hands lying in her lap. If you opened a box labeled "gifted", who or what would you see there? White girls? Asian boys?

So I'll own it. I'm absolutely guilty of putting children and other adults into specific glasses and packaged with labels on them. I have said hundreds of times at parent-teacher conferences, "Don't worry, he's a boy, boys can't always sit still long enough to learn to read." or "She does that because she is

a girl. Girls like to pay attention and do exactly what the teacher says and does because they want our approval." As though boys don't. I was saying those things to parents because I thought for sure those attributes identified the "why" to their behavior, as in, "nothing to be concerned about here!" So what about the kids who don't behave the way children of their age or socially given gender and race "usually" behave? Where do we put them?

I had read a couple of books about how boys and girls learn. The problem though was that I overgeneralized and tended to forget about the boys who really enjoy stories, who loved reading with a partner, or got a kick out of telling a story by looking at the pictures in the book. I forgot about the girls who didn't give a rat's ass about how I drew a butterly on the white board (with good reason), or how I wrote the letter "a".

This year, this new narrative I have discovered about children and adults will be my focus. I will slowly and intentionally pour out the people I have put into glasses. I will do everything I can to rip labels off the people I tend to put in a package. I will do my best to look at children and adults in our school through a clear, untouched photo instead of a filtered one. I will

remember that EVERYONE is multifaceted. THIS thinking is part of our equity work. I know at times I will forget. I will put that kid that triggers me right back in their box, but because I am conscious of this goal, I will begin a new practice that I hope will eventually turn into a consistent way of thinking. Practice, reflect, adjust, practice, reflect, adjust. Last year my mantra was, "We can do hard things" which was for sure the right choice! This year, I think it's gonna be, "Each child and adult with whom I work is a deck of cards that can be shuffled in infinate ways."

Ok - maybe that's too long for a mantra, but it will definitely fit on a sticky note.